Messages from Joelle
I met Joel, during a guided meditation, on the first evening of a writing group I was attending called Beyond. He was a dragon with wings, I wasn’t exactly sure whether Joel was male or female. He would swish his long tail along the ground after him and the fairy dust would rise up into the air. After class I looked up the meaning of Joel, to discover that it meant Yahweh is God. Looking up Yahweh I found it to be used interchangeably in the bible between God and I AM. I laugh at the realisation that I have been working with just this over the last month, while I have been reading Neville Goddards compilations of books on this subject.
I am laying out in the sun, my eyes closed, feeling the warm rays against my skin, when I see the symbol that I saw during the meditation where I first met Joel. I know this is a sign to make this as an offering to connect in to see what is to be revealed. So I head to the beach and to Mara Creek.
I look up the creek from where I am sitting and wonder at what beauty lies beyond the curve ahead? There is no way to walk it, the terrain is steep and unwelcoming to these feet. The water dark, deep and cold on this wintery day.
I lay down my offerings, firstly the symbol I have made from some of the old banksia branches that were laying along the path, tied together with some lomandra grass. I hold it up and look through it, I see two halves coming together in union.
Later I researched what this symbol meant in relation to union and found that it was the symbol for Salt or Sal. Salt is an ancient symbol of purification, cleansing, protection and rebirth. It also represents the feminine principle of Eros, that which brings everything into relationship. Carl Jung saw that salt played a profound role in the process of transformation psychologically. The salt was the embodiment of the wisdom (the gold) obtained at the end of the alchemical process. This makes me reflect on my own journey inward these past years, where I have begun to delve into many of my shadows, both the darker and lighter aspects of myself, working out what is truth, so I can live more aligned with who I really am. And so I look up the process of inner alchemy.
This transformation process begins with the Fire - a burning down of the base material - of parts of the ego that are no longer working. Once broken down this is dissolved into Water (the unconscious), you can feel overwhelmed with emotion, experience repressed memories, begin to see what you have been denying, things may feel like they are falling apart. In the third stage you work with Air, separating and filtering through these, there is a cutting away to find the truth. Once purified, these elements are combined again, there is a reconciliation of opposites, like the ego and shadow, conscious and unconscious, an integration from the union, the beginning of something more solid, new (Salt). From this death of the old something begins to arise, an awakening (Spirit), to becoming who you truly are. Then Air/spirit continues this refinement in distillation, a continuing boiling and condensing down until only the purest essence of you remains – bringing clarity. The final process is coagulation (Salt/the Gold), where you are reborn, embodying, and living your divine essence, I AM. I see now how I have been working through these processes throughout my life.
I lay down a green seed pod from the Banksia tree above the symbol - it reminds me of a sheep. I am curiously reminded of the incredible collection of paintings by Jan van Eyck known as the Ghent Altarpiece which hangs in a church in Belgium. The central painting is called the Adoration of the Mystic Lamb. Here the lamb is standing on a red altar, bleeding into the golden holy grail – the promise of resurrection. Its true meaning hidden by the artist, who, from memory considered the altar to represent the holy female womb, birth and rebirth, the dove above coming down to meet her - the higher and lower aspects of the Sophia. There has been this denigration of the lower aspects of the womanly body for thousands of years created by the patriarchy, the church – a dishonouring of her sexuality, menstruation, her womb, and childbirth. This shaming of the woman, the feminine, has produced a loss of connection to the sacredness of creation, and has resulted in a disconnection for both men and women from the wisdom of this earthly and sacred aspect that they carry within them, as their Divine Feminine. In the painting, these higher and lower aspects of the Sophia are brought together again and from this union the feminine aspects are reunited with the masculine, and balance is restored.
I am taken back to a few mornings ago, in the early hours. I awoke to the feeling of pleasure in my sacral. I felt led to connect to this feeling within me through my breath. I consciously imagined holding it within my body, within my breath. I felt it move up and down through my chakras from my sacral to my third eye, in a continuous flow for some time. I became aware of the words Divine Union. I carried this through my breath up into my third eye until it suddenly expanded into my crown with a vision of stars sparkling brightly in my inner galaxy, the cosmos within me. I felt like I had arrived home.
I ponder the shame, the guilt, the fear of my early years of religious teachings and programming that I have fought to release myself from over my lifetime, unable to break free. For so long, we lost touch with the deep power that lives within us as women. It hasn’t only been society that has kept us confined—through fear, shame, and judgment—we’ve also played a part in keeping ourselves bound.
I place a piece of driftwood below the lamb, it reminds of the face of a swan. I remember reading about a lost womb religion, where women held immense power within their body, they were once deeply revered but through the ages men became threatened by them and they were either killed or went underground. This ancient sisterhood was represented by the Swan, evidence of which has been found all around the world. There were the priestesses of Brigid who could shapeshift into swans, wearing magical cloaks to disguise their secret identity as fairy women. There was the Egyptian Goddess Isis with her swan wings, and the Christian angels too, there were even mermaid priestesses, sacred womb shamans, who had tails like dragons and wings like swans. The image of Joel comes instantly back to mind as I remember his tail sweeping away the fairy dust last week, maybe Joel if a female, and is actually a mermaid priestess!!
There’s a noise to my left, a flock of seagulls fly in for their afternoon bath. I am mesmerised by the flapping of their wings in the water and the splashes of water rising to meet the sun’s rays sparkling like diamonds through the air. The water droplets dancing in delight with this connection.
I hear Joelle, ….can you feel beyond your perceived limitations, your fears, your inadequacies,? Can you see through another’s hurt and pain? Are you able to feel compassion for another, living out their consciousness, without judgement? For one’s consciousness to expand, one must see, hear, feel, know and sense beyond what is there, so that you are able to see the connections woven between all - this incredible universe, and all that lives within it.
Release yourself from the nails that bind you to this place. Surrender your old stories, to vision a new history, a new way for you to be. Dare to dream a new dream my dear, see beyond that which you create consciously and unconsciously so you may become aware of that which you desire, allowing that to flow through you from the Divine. Become conscious of that Being of love expressing itself through you into the new world.
There is a deep knowing within you, can you feel it, of something far greater than you are able to put into words, lifetimes of everlasting connection to our Great Creator. Can you feel this meeting, this communion coming for all? This inner work, this inner alchemy that many have been doing, facing their shadows, societies shadows and programs, sifting through and sorting out what is working and what needs discarding, finding the truth, and bringing it all back together into something more tangible, more sacred, can you feel the gold that is arising?
In my mind’s eye I gather pieces of wood. Into each piece I etch a word - shame, guilt, fear, judgement, comparison, victim, condemnnation. I build a fire, and offer each of these pieces of wood to the fire. And so I wonder what is my salt, what will be distilled from this time, transformed, transmuted into something greater, more powerful, more sacred. I see the flames illuminate agains the night sky, the sparks of fire twinkling in the moonlight, bringing clarity to what has been holding me back, and expanding me ever more into the universe, my soul guided by the Divine within.
Written: October 2024 and finalised August 2025.
